What if I told you that changing your one of voice could dramatically change your dating?Would you roll your eyes and say, “Okay, now I’ve really heard it all! Paint my face orange and run around my house three times backwards?
Changing then tone of voice or your facial expressions isn’t easy, but I have noticed that, when you change your voice, your facial expressions change, as well. I feel pressured at work; I feel pressure from my family to get married. It was so bad that I once had a boyfriend who started walking backwards out the door saying, “Leave me alone, I can’t listen to you talk anymore!
Most clients don’t like it when I tell them that they need to pay better attention to how they sound to their dates. ” I continued, “Often when you are talking to me about men and your experience with online dating, you sound angry and accusatory. They don’t understand that if they are feeling angry or disappointed about something, even if they try to pretend that everything is okay, their true feelings will come across in their tone of voice. Suddenly, Christine seemed to understand what I was saying to her. Lots of people have commented on how anxious I can be.” “This anxiety comes across in your voice and, my guess is that it can set the people around you on edge. If you listen to Techno, the beat is driving and it can make you feel jittery. ” Thankfully, I can laugh about it now, but it was one of my lowest moments.
You’re then matched with singles who have similar answers.” That last sentence should’ve read, “You’re then matched with heterosexual singles” because when you sign up for the app, you’re only allowed to identify yourself as a “woman seeking man” or a “man seeking woman.” So just to quickly recap, in case you decide to stop reading from here on, a black man, Larry Kenebrew, Jr., created a dating app for black people with the most enticing aspect of the site being the ability to choose mates based on skin tone and hair texture that also wholly excludes the LGBT community. Smoochr also asks users to “describe your lips” which in the scope of this app is about as bad as using skin tone and hair type to choose a mate. But because no one but Kenebrew is okay with celebrating dating choices based on colorism and hair, we now have movements like #Shutdown Smoochr that aim to stop our fellow brothers and sisters from engaging in acts of self-hate just to find a mate, and rightfully so.
And, honestly, if it weren’t for these aspects, the app might actually be a decent offering. While I’d love to be able to automatically discriminate men of the Hotep school of thought, Smoochr seems to ignore the fact that black men and women can be multi-faceted.
The paper bag test lives on in digital form, thanks to a dating app for black people titled Smoochr and, sadly, the creators aren’t the least bit shy or ashamed about their divisive creation.
On its homepage, the app boldly invites users to “Discover Black singles by complexion, hair type, and more,” because it’s not enough that the majority of our community is suffering from self-hate, we need an app encouraging us to indulge in it.
See outside of those elements are the typical aspects you’d expect from any dating app, like height, body, weight, and religious beliefs. Which is more important, looks, personality or stability? So instead of being able to identify yourself as God-fearing spiritual, the site could recognize that none of us fit into one neat box.
And the one saving grace comes by way of the Views portion of the questionnaire which asks users’ opinions on things that are truly pertinent to our community like: 1. Yet here we are looking at a site supposedly created for us that only creates more division than it does interdependence.
Called Connectidy, the app aims to help users figure out what they are looking for in a partner and how to best communicate with them.
Those who download the app can choose to have it filter through any or all of your social media accounts — Linked In, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Gmail — to create a personality profile.
Have you ever been on a blind date and felt there was something missing — such as your parents?